What a day...

Sergeant Ralph ate too much pussy and went home with a tummy ache.


LMAO.

Actually had the best day EVER yesterday! Mr Richardson fell over and broke the chair!
If he'd fallen sideways he would have smashed through the window and slammed the car.


Guitars, chinese and shooting stars on the beach....as well as Coke; we didn't want to let our blood sugar levels get too low.


Mama Crabs and Dustin Hoffman: They just had sex, ate a pie and left!

Police: It's ok...all evidence reports that they actually ate a crumble, not a pie.

Mama Crabs and Dustin Hoffman: Well thank fuck for that!





If I write it on the wall will you learn? Shall I write it on my COCK??? How about I write it on your back? Will you learn? Will LUKE see it???

NOT WITH LUKE!!! NEVER WITH LUKE!!!!!

The internet is going to be updated

I was recently surfing the internet when I found myself on an advertising website. I saw a headline and, curious, clicked the link.

I feel compelled, ladies and gentlemen, to show you this ad, if only to prove that some people have less brains than a retarded mongoose.

It said:

"Hi, George Clark here... You have got to see this - WOW! I found this new FULL INTERNET UPGRADE technology that is about to upgrade THE ENTIRE INTERNET to Web 2.0 standards and IT'S FREE! FULL Social Networking functionality on EVERY WEBSITE on the internet with a click of a button. This is going to change the entire Internet OVERNIGHT. Plus, they are giving away ONE MILLION DOLLARS to spread the word about it - and you can get a share for helping - NO COST! Check it out!"

They are, apparently, upgrading the internet. Yes. Upgrading the INTERNET. Now, in case you can't quite see why this is so stupid, let me fill you in.

This is Wikipedias definition of the internet:

The Internet is a worldwide, publicly accessible series of interconnected computer networks that transmit data by packet switching using the standard Internet Protocol(IP). It is a "network of networks" that consists of millions of smaller domestic, academic, business, and government networks, which together carry various information and services, such as electronic mail, online chat, file transfer, and the interlinked web pages and other resources of the World Wide Web (WWW).

Can anyone see why I am incredibly amazed that people fall for this? Somebody, somewhere, is ON THE INTERNET, sees an ad that says that the internet is going to be updated, and believes it! And this person OWNS A COMPUTER that is CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET!!!

But that's not it. Apparently, a mysterious organisation known only as "they" are giving away a million dollars! And anyone who helps to share this information will be given a share!!!

Right. If some company could track everyone on the non-updated internet to see whether or not they were posting ads about their company, and were giving away a million dollars, I'd say that A) It would be on the news, B) This kind of generosity from a company can only foretell an apocalyptic event and C) They might want to put their name on there somewhere. Besides, if they had that kind of money to burn, I'm sure they'd do their own advertising.

So, as a closing note, I really do hope that there is nobody here who would have believed this shit, and I really, REALLY hope that, if you did, I have managed to convince you otherwise. If not, you really do not deserve to own a computer.

Any comments on this post? Maybe you've stumbled upon something similar which you can share with us? Leave a comment after the beep.

BEEP.

NAKEDNESS!!!!!

Right, I have decided to start this blog on a topic that confuses, amazes and completely fascinates me: nakedness. Well, not so much the naked body in general, but people's reactions to it.
Some people seem to find naked bodies fascinating, others find them disgusting. But, at least once a day (I'm presuming that we all get dressed at some point here) we are naked. We were all created without clothes, and for a long time, when we were first here, we all walked around with everything hanging out.
So, why do people find naked bodies so intriguing? I, for one, (and I know there are others out there like me) find it extremely easy to sit around with my friends with absolutely nothing on and feel completely comfortable with it! I know, however, that many people would find this completely inappropriate and disgusting and terrifying. Hence why I generally keep my clothes on :).
I'm not sure about everyone else's opinions on this matter, although I would love to carry out some form of survey or something to find out what people think. My idea is that we, as a Western culture, have learned to relate the naked body with sex, and we have also learned to relate sex with taboo, therefore making the naked body taboo within our society.
I, personally, think that every single naked body is completely beautiful, whether it's large, small, black or white. I know that others would beg to differ, but I stand by my views. I would like to see a lot more people feeling confident enough, within themselves and others, to take their clothes off freely.

Maybe we should have a national naked day?



Only in the summer, though.